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2019 in Retrospect

Happy New Year!  I don’t think I’ve ever felt such excitement for the start of a new year as I have for the start of 2020.  When I look back on 2019, I find it challenging to summarize my experience.  While there were many highs, there were an equal, if not greater, number of lows. While I feel like 2019 is without a doubt the year I made the most strides in my own personal growth- in examining who I am, what I care most about, and who I strive to be, it’s also a year I spent mostly living on the sidelines.  I turned down numerous opportunities, I spent most of my time at home, and for nine months of the year I was having health issues and going to numerous doctor’s appointments where all of my results would come back normal.  It got so bad, that I was terrified to eat most of the time and hesitant to commit to plans, knowing I would likely need to cancel.  Thankfully around October, all of my health issues disappeared.  Ever since then, I’ve been making a concerted effort to go out and do everything I possibly can.

What I’m most proud of in 2019 is how thoroughly I analyzed my relationship with the internet and social media and the changes I’ve made over the past seven months because of it.  I hadn’t realized how much of my life was being dictated by YouTube and Instagram until I really took a step back in May.  It’s a really difficult habit to break but I can confidently say that I’ve been prioritizing myself, my family and my friends over my routine filming schedule for months now and I don’t feel the slightest inkling of guilt for it.  That was my biggest hurdle, feeling stressed, feeling guilty and allowing those feelings to consume me and take me out of the moment I was in if I wasn’t at home working.  I also rediscovered my love of writing, both creatively for myself, and more publicly, for my blog.  I’ve gotten into the habit of reaching out to friends as soon as I think of them instead of thinking about it, not having the mental energy and forgetting to do so later.  I’ve been less self conscious about being in photos and worrying about what I’m wearing.  I’ve made positive changes in my wardrobe to incorporate more basic items and the things I know I feel comfortable in. But most importantly, I further developed meaningful lifelong friendships and reconnected with old friends.

And of course, my one constant throughout all of the craziness of 2019 (and the majority of the past decade since we first met in 2014!), has been Andrew.  He’s truly my other half.  Our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other in all the right ways.  There is a very deep, unshakable bond between us and there’s no one I would rather spend my time with.  Andrew continues to make me laugh, even when things seem bleak.  He anticipates my needs before I even know that I need them.  He’s always willing to help me with anything and he’s provided unconditional support for all of my creative endeavors and hobbies.  I’m genuinely excited to see him at the start of every morning and the end of every work day.  All this to say that if there’s one thing I appreciate more than anything else this decade, it’s having found my true love and partner in everything.


4 Responses to “2019 in Retrospect”

  1. Cate says:

    Wishing you all the best for the new year, hope 2020 is a good year for you xoxo
    Cate recently posted…Exploring Iconsiam Bangkok’s Best Mall!!My Profile

  2. Heather says:

    Happy New Year! Good luck on all your goals for 2020 :]
    Heather recently posted…2019 Reading Wrap-Up and FavoritesMy Profile

  3. I definitely feel like 2019 was a rough year for so many people — it was for me, too! Here is to an even better 2020 ♥

  4. Alexa S. says:

    Looooove you! 2019 was a hell of a year, and a busy one, but I’m glad we both made it through and that we made so many more memories together. I love hearing that you feel like you’ve made so much progress in understanding yourself and your needs and priorities more, and I definitely think 2020 is going to be a banner year for us both <3
    Alexa S. recently posted…Friends with ARCs | Lucky Caller + Seven Deadly ShadowsMy Profile

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